I sit here realizing that it has been just over two years since I have written on this. There have been plenty of issues and times that have arisen in that time period that I could have used a blog had I remembered it. My husband came home from Iraq, we moved from Billings to Helena, Montana, we purchased a new vehicle only to have me lose my job, I went from no friends to great friends, I went through heart ache, we have struggled with fertility issues like crazy, and my weight has ballooned. BUT... here I am now and I would like to use the mantra of better late than never but we all know that it is not genuinely always true. Therefore, I am adopting a new mantra that will go something like this: Who the freak cares when I started, you can't undo the past so I am working forward. (Obviously it is a fab work in progress and I will probably change it a million times!) Here goes a super short and sweet update on everything in the last two + years:
I finally enrolled in college over a year ago and am plowing towards my graduation date in 2015. I was the worst student in high school and so I am gritting my teeth as I am trying to find new ways to battle old bad habits. I know now why I was contemplating doing something that didn't involve school at 18!!! Jon (hubby) and I have had our fair share of heart ache. I suffered a miscarriage last year and since then I have had the most negative outlook on finally realizing our dream of starting our own family. His daughter continues to visit us every two weeks for two weeks at a time, but being five, she will start school in the city that her mom lives in this fall. I am seriously worried for my hubby's sanity at that point in time but I am hopeful that we can build our own world here in Helena as well.
Moving from Billings was one of the best things that has ever happened to me. I was crushed by the horrid behavior of some of my inlaws as I was raised in a very loving home. So moving here was a saving grace for me. I THINK Jon feels the same way but the custody problems that arose from that were hard to handle. He now works active duty and is teaching others on Fort Harrison. For a time I had a position on Fort Harrison as a civilian working for a civilian contracting company but the boss lady was insane and I eventually lost my job... like I mentioned that came right after we bought our brand new 2013 Chevy Equinox. Yay.... one of those moments where you just curse at the "greater plan" over and over.
Now I am unemployed struggling through school work and hating it every time I step on the scale or look at myself in the mirror. My weight has ballooned to 220 pounds and that is super difficult for me to share with anyone as I cried buckets when it hit 200. For a five foot three gal, I wear the weight pretty well, but as I haven't yet managed to quit my smoking for more than a couple months at a whack, it is definitely time to make a change. I am hoping to chronicle all of these struggles for women who know exactly what it is like to need a solution for so many issues all at once. All I know is that I am ready for things that work for ME. Here I go!!!
